Talkin That Shit


New 007mobile…
April 30, 2008, 9:33 pm
Filed under: Movies | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The 2009 Aston Martin DBS
2009 Aston Martin DBS
Da Booty
For $265,000 those crazy folks at Aston Martin Lagonda Limited will have these German cats put together by hand a 6 Liter V12 engine with 510 Horses inside. That’ll take you from 0 to 60 in 4.3 seconds and push this pretty lil kitty all the way up to 191 mph.

*intense shiver*

But don’t be intimidated; from what I understand she’s just as good at makin love to the road as she is at givin you whiplash. And to help you stop, they’ve got these ultra light carbon-ceramic brakes that are way more easier on the hams than most “race-car inspired” vehicles.

The 2009 Aston Martin DBS is definitely the Alpha Female of the pack over there, and the insides are just as impressive as whats underneath and in front of you. Its got this fly-ass key called the Emotional Control Unit. I said, “The EMOTIONAL CONTROL UNIT. Shit, my day is goin better just sayin the name of that shit. It’s a polished sapphire that you put in the dashboard. I mean, if you can’t get some pussy in one of these, there is NO HOPE for you and Escoffery Hitch the 3rd can’t do shit about that. Get ya money up; The armor and machine gun turrets are extra.

Coming soon in “Quantum of Solace”
Quantum of Solace



MY CITY SCREAMS
April 29, 2008, 4:01 pm
Filed under: Comics, Geek, Movies | Tags: , , , , ,

Frank Miller’s Will Eisner’s The Spirit

Frank Miller\'s Will Eisner\'s The Spirit

THE SPIRIT

http://www.zshare.net/audio/112782453c675c9a/



I wanna talk to you about love n shit
April 26, 2008, 10:15 am
Filed under: Love, Movies | Tags: , , , , ,

I remember it like it was yesterday…

(((flashback sequence)))

The year was 1989.

After a morning of the Smurfs, Snorks, and Bionic Six, I was… still front of that damn TV. And there was something much, much different from my beloved cartoons on. It was called HBO. Channel 5 on Greensboro NC’s Cablevision. Man HBO was the SHIT! I could sit in front of that damn thing and watch EVERY movie. “Just One of the Guys (Big ups to Terry Griffith for liberatin her chesticles at the end), “License to Drive”, “Weird Science”, the “Meatballs” movies, and one of the greatest movies ever made “The Goonies”. Hell, I even watched “Kramer vs. Kramer” (once again shoutout to gratuitious 80s movies nudity. full frontal in fact). But I digress…

This particular Saturday, there was something a bit different on…

Something like “Moving”

Moving

It was a movie starting that funny ass guy from “The Toy”,

The Toy

“Superman III”,

Superman III

and “The Mack”.

The Mack

He starred in it as a hard working father that things never seemed to go right for. I’ma be honest with you though, I’m pullin all this from memory so I couldn’t give you all the particulars but long-story-short, he got transferred to Boise, ID, and his family was not too happy bout that. His family included a dedicated wife, two badass twin sons, and a daughter.

And I when I say daughter I mean, DAMN she was fine. I fell in love instantly. At that very moment at the tender age of 7 I already understood what it meant to be a man. I’d found my wife, the mother of my children, and the designated changer of my Depends™ when I got old. I think it was her eyes. I don’t think I’d ever seen eyes like that before. And lemme tell you she had the sweetest voice and most gorgeous smile you’ve ever seen. Look bottom line:

Stacey Dash

(((end flashback sequence)))

Shorty was fine as frog’s hair. And before her… nobody was as fine as Denise, but I’ll save that for another time. But yeah shorty was a 10, and 20 years after its original release; having starred in such classics like “Mo’ Money” and “Clueless” I am happy to say my baby is STILL fine as frog’s hair. You ever seen a 42-year-old woman that looked like THIS?:

All praises due...

Shit. I can’t even remember what I was bout to say now… Hell, the picture speaks for itself. I don’t need to say any more.

Just gon’ and listen to this:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/111308354c58b7b4/

That’s love.